Christmas cracker jokes

 

‘Tis also the season to be silly, so here are a list of Christmas cracker jokes that no doubt will elicit some groans or chuckles! 😀

Q: Where can you find literature about Santa’s assistants?
A: The elf-help section

Q: What is green and turns red at the push of a button?
A: A frog in a liquidiser

Q: What lies quivering at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A nervous wreck

Q: What do you call a drunk working at an upholstery shop?
A: A recovering alcoholic

Q: What does a mother-in-law call her broom?
A: Basic transportation

Q: Son – “Mum can I have a dog for Christmas?”
A: Mum – “No you can have turkey the same as everyone else”

Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: No idea

Q: What do reindeer put on a Christmas tree?
A: Horn-aments

Q: What does a transvestite do for Christmas?
A: Eat, drink and be Mary

Q: What lies in a pram and wobbles?
A: A jelly baby

Q: Where do austronauts leave their cars?
A: At parking meteors

Q: What do you get when you cross a hen with a cluck?
A: An alarm cluck

Q: What sort of shoes do frogs wear in the summer?
A: Open toad sandals

Q: What athlete is warmest in winter
A: A long jumper

Q: What do angry mice send each other at Christmas?
A: Cross mouse cards

Q: What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A: A puddle