It’s a balmy Sunday afternoon and I am listening to Johnny Hartman’s dreamy voice singing I See Your Face Before Me from the soundtrack of ‘The Bridges of Madison County’. My washing machine is busy making the usual katchunk, katchunk noise as it goes through the washing cycle. It’s the kind of afternoon where the coolness of a glass of ice tea against your sweaty cheek is a much welcome sensation.
The week has been quite an emotional rollercoaster for me – it was my first week at work again after my holiday in Indonesia and Singapore. I thought that there would be greater development after the merger but things were pretty much quiet at work. The folks in my pod joked that it was the lull before the storm – they were right, as nearing the end of the week, we were all invited to a meeting called ‘Restructuring, Redeployment and Redundancy’. I also had my 1:1 with my boss the previous day, and she hinted that my area would be significantly impacted. Whilst I really appreciate her tough management style, it sometimes evokes my insecurity. She mentioned that the ‘analytics’ area in the other bank were a profit contributor whereas my area had not. I personally think that I have contributed much to the Bank as it had not had any customer metrics prior to me joining the Bank – I guess she doesn’t consider being aware or knowing more of the business landscape as my contribution. The chat left me feeling that I should be ready to be plucked out of the department into a “redeployment pool”, which consists of people with transportable skills that no longer fit in the merged department. Even though the people from Human Resources, including my boss, tried to sell up this pool as a pool of elite, talented staff, I can’t help feeling that it’s a group of orphans, waiting for new parents and new families. Maybe I should not feel judgmental about it. 🙂 There is also a choice to put my hand up for voluntary redundancy if I want to – so even though I still don’t know whether I will be a part of the new department or not, I have started to look around for any other jobs here in South Australia. Just to be safe …
The week left me feeling stunned and numb – even though I am at peace, if that really happens, the series of events left me emotionally affected. I am grateful of the break that I took in Indonesia and Singapore, as it provided a chance for me to step back from work and to see thing through a different set of eyes. So, when I returned to work, I did feel much more relaxed and much more positive. The events that happened at the office last week still gave me quite a mighty punch though – like a boxer who had prepared himself for the oncoming jabs, the punch that eventually came, still left me dizzy and staggered, but it didn’t make me fall, if you know what I mean.
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