It’s day like today when I feel quite unmotivated to do anything. I can blame it on my cold and perhaps it is a contributing factor. Although I know I still need to re-submit my revised proposal by August 13, having done the presentation on Friday makes me mentally ticks it off my list. The problem is, the next milestone is still far away. We get to feel more like this as we age, I suppose – looking for a purpose, a milestone to reach, something to give our life a meaning. A friend also shared a similar story – he’s doing his PhD and he has just completed the first year. He’s feeling mentally tired already and he’s wondering whether he can reach the final stage. One milestone is reached, the next one seems too far away.
I suppose life is like a grand marathon, we are so powered up when we started our journey – with a loud “Waaaaa!!!” and then the first “20 kilometres” seem so exciting – and then we start noticing the weariness that creeps into our motions and we think that it may be a futile journey after all. By this stage in our life, we have started ticking off the ‘To Do’ and ‘To Achieve’ lists one by one … and the next one on the lists seem too hard to reach for the time being.
I know that this is the time when I have to reach deep and find that joy and continue to run again, and really focus on my purpose in life. My study is just a part of me and it’s not the sole purpose in my life. I want to be the man who God wants me to be and do what He intends me to do. Tomorrow’s a new day, and I will have my chances to notice the simple enjoyments in life and continue to ‘run’. I will need to continue the journey that I started with my proposal, thesis and my postgraduate research. Stopping or giving up is not an option! Sometimes when we feel like this, we just need to stop and take a deep breath. We need to take it one day at a time and keep our eyes focused. It’s what I’m telling myself at the moment. It’s so appropriate that an old hymn popped into my head during the weekend:
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will go strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace
How true. 🙂