Christmas cracker jokes

 

‘Tis also the season to be silly, so here are a list of Christmas cracker jokes that no doubt will elicit some groans or chuckles! 😀

Q: Where can you find literature about Santa’s assistants?
A:
The elf-help section

Q: What is green and turns red at the push of a button?
A:
A frog in a liquidiser

Q: What lies quivering at the bottom of the ocean?
A:
A nervous wreck

Q: What do you call a drunk working at an upholstery shop?
A:
A recovering alcoholic

Q: What does a mother-in-law call her broom?
A:
Basic transportation

Q: Son – “Mum can I have a dog for Christmas?”
A:
Mum – “No you can have turkey the same as everyone else”

Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A:
No idea

Q: What do reindeer put on a Christmas tree?
A:
Horn-aments

Q: What does a transvestite do for Christmas?
A:
Eat, drink and be Mary

Q: What lies in a pram and wobbles?
A:
A jelly baby

Q: Where do austronauts leave their cars?
A:
At parking meteors

Q: What do you get when you cross a hen with a cluck?
A:
An alarm cluck

Q: What sort of shoes do frogs wear in the summer?
A:
Open toad sandals

Q: What athlete is warmest in winter
A:
A long jumper

Q: What do angry mice send each other at Christmas?
A:
Cross mouse cards

Q: What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A:
A puddle


Published by fuzz

I've finally relented to the lures of blogging - and for those who care, well, I'm a self-confessed geek who's a wanderer at heart, who thinks and analyses too much, and who's trying hard to hold on to his 7-year old inner persona.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *