Purging friendship

 

I noticed that there was a sudden spike in my blog visits in the past couple of days from one region and for the life of me, I couldn’t really pinpoint the factor behind it. Then came a strange comment for the latest blog post which made me even more curious on what on earth was happening. After some investigative googling, I found out that a friend of mine was charged with a heinous crime in his country. Because I mentioned his name in my blog, a link to my blog is posted in a local current affair / celebrity-watch blogspot site which certainly explains the sudden onslaught of visitors.

It’s certainly a bit baffling and confusing for me because I had only met him once and I even met his delightful family. His in-laws even arranged a great home-cooked dinner when we visited them in the countryside. He just doesn’t seem to be the kind of person who could or would do such a thing. Then again, I don’t know him that well – we only corresponded through the Internet. I didn’t hear anything from him most of this year and now I know why. It makes me think, if a friend commits a crime, would you stand by him or her, or would you take the safe route and purge yourself off him or her?

Because of the severity of the crime (which I’d rather not divulge here), it’s certainly not an advantage being linked to him – however, when does a friend stop being a friend? I thought about completely deleting every comment and every mention of his name in my website. He used to post regularly and gave witty comments – well, he is learned and has a great sense of humour as well.

At the end, I paraphrased all of my posts that had a reference to his name and erased any mentions of his name. Otherwise, I left the posts pretty much intact. I didn’t want to completely purge him off – he made a huge mistake and well, everybody makes mistakes. A friend is a friend. I thought about just wiping the slate clean and just considered the friendship a chapter in the past, but if everybody does it, who would be there for us if we make a mistake? I remember the period when I was in-between job at the beginning of the year – some people had started to create some distance as if my being unemployed would infect their life. Some people stood by me in thick and thin, and I am still very grateful for their faith in me. Of course, being jobless can’t be compared to being guilty – but I just couldn’t just leave him alone. I feel for his wife and children, and for the lovely folks who I met when I saw them some years ago.

I’m a bit speechless, really as it has come as a shock. I hope his family and everybody involved could regain their peace.


Published by fuzz

I've finally relented to the lures of blogging - and for those who care, well, I'm a self-confessed geek who's a wanderer at heart, who thinks and analyses too much, and who's trying hard to hold on to his 7-year old inner persona.

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