Today is my late brother’s birthday … his second after leaving us on 28th February 2008. If he were still around, he would’ve been 35 today …
Whilst the pain of losing him has dulled down with time, I still miss him terribly.
Somebody once said that your mind would numb you and protect you against the tragedy that you encounter, until you are ready to face it. Your mind will then release the details … one by one … only when you are ready to receive them. In my silent moments, I remember more about him – the ring that he had on his finger, the way that I used to tease him, and how he looked, keeping an eye on his little shop in the housing complex. I still remember how he looked lying down in his coffin, but the utter sadness that I used to have has now been replaced with a subtle sorrow – of missing somebody close to you who you can’t ever meet anymore.
I have certainly digested the fact that I don’t have a younger brother anymore – it is a funny feeling and a peculiar sensation that somebody close to you has really experienced it – death, passing, eternal rest, crossing over – whatever euphemism or word that you prefer. It is an odd feeling, remembering him and the thing that he used to do, then being aware that he is no longer around … He is there in Heaven, having another wonderful day.
Happy Birthday, Hanhan!