Standing on the precipice

After a wave of optimism and warm glow, I’m having another emotional dip again. I’ve been feeling low since yesterday evening – and it’s quite strange considering that I only shared yesterday during the weekly prayer meeting that I had to trust my God to provide. I shared that a good father would provide for his children and all the children needed to do was just to trust and love their father and to obey him, and let him do all the hard work. I know that it is all I need to do, because I know that my Heavenly Father only has plans for good and not for evil.

I’ve been comforted by kind words that I received from my friends who got my annual newsletter. They provide extra strength for me to move on. As somebody who used to crave for approval and words of encouragement in the past, and then became self-sufficient, I have struck a nice balance in the middle, where I can appreciate words of encouragement without being too attached to them. Thank you for the kind messages and emails! 🙂 “Kind words are good medicine, but deceitful words can really hurt.” – Proverbs 15:4 (CEV).

I have spent the morning finishing the clip for my parents’ Golden Wedding Anniversary. It’s finished now and I’m uploading it to Youtube for limited viewing only. I want to keep it as a surprise to most of my siblings. The reason for me to upload the video to Youtube is so that the ‘selected’ siblings can have a look to see whether I need to modify anything.

Today, shops are having their huge sale all over Adelaide – the traditional ‘Boxing Day’ sale. In South Australia however, 26 December is also a public holiday: Proclamation Day. So, fanatic shoppers had to wait another day to quench their thirst for shopping. Unfortunately I have to watch my finance really closely – I’m projected to run out of funds in the beginning of January. It’s really scary considering that every fortnight my bank faithfully and dependably takes a big chunk of my money to pay for my mortgage. I am holding on to the verse in the Bible that His children will never beg for food. It’s hard to stand on the precipice, with stones and pebbles crumbling down and crashing into the bottom, waiting to take me with them and I haven’t seen my helper as yet.

In the future, I know I will cherish my condition at the moment, where I am taught to be vulnerable, to be humble, and to control my emotions and not let any negative thoughts take control. This is certainly the time where I am trained to see the power of faith, and to wait for my help to come. As somebody who has been self-sufficient for a long time, it’s a very humbling experience – and a valuable lesson.

Psalm 121

A Song of Ascents.

I will lift up my eyes to the hills—
From whence comes my help?
My help comes from the LORD,
Who made heaven and earth.

He will not allow your foot to be moved;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps Israel
Shall neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD is your keeper;
The LORD is your shade at your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
Nor the moon by night.

The LORD shall preserve you from all evil;
He shall preserve your soul.
The LORD shall preserve your going out and your coming in
From this time forth, and even forevermore.


Published by fuzz

I've finally relented to the lures of blogging - and for those who care, well, I'm a self-confessed geek who's a wanderer at heart, who thinks and analyses too much, and who's trying hard to hold on to his 7-year old inner persona.

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