Its 3.30am here in Adelaide – I’ve had a restless night, but at least I had clocked in at least two hours of sleep. It’s true when they say that you wish you were in a dream; in between dozing off I woke up and wondered whether it was just a bad dream. Your swollen eyes and your heavy heart remind you, alas, it is the reality from now on. I have lost a brother. His absence on my future wedding picture will remind me that he won’t get to see my future wife, whoever she is, nor will he be the kind uncle to my unborn sons and daughters.
Grief is like a thick fog that descends to every room and leaves a mark on the wall that says ‘Death was here’. I can’t chase it away – not just yet.