Today I learned that the whole Communication and Marketing department from the bank had virtually been made redundant, as the merged Marketing area will be focused out of the headquarter of the merged company located in another state. The process will happen in about six to twelve months, where we will be given the option to move interstate, or go through a series of steps, either to take the redundancy package or to be rehomed in another department.
I have prepared myself for the worst for a while now, because I thought my unit would be affected with the rest of the team ‘saved’ because of the nature of their work. I feel that Research is considered like the odd child within Communication and Marketing so I have prepared myself for a while now. When the news hit that the whole department are affected, it still hits me pretty hard.
I am still at peace with everything, but the numbness has returned – I am truly grateful for the faith that God has given me because it has sustained me and given me strength. It allows me to smile, and laugh, and have confidence that I can face the future no matter uncertain. To me, my faith is like being a child being thrown up in the air by the father – a scary yet exhilarating experience. You would be up in the air without any support for a split second, but you are certain that your father’s strong arms will catch you before you hit the ground. My feelings are exactly that at the moment – I have been thrown up in the air, still laughing with my eyes looking up to the sky and my surrounding, feeling excited and yet a bit scared.
I was looking for a YouTube clip of a song called Why by a gospel band called 4Him when I found a different clip. 4Him sang an old hymn by Horatio Spafford called It is well with my soul. The song was sung using a different, more contemporary tune, but the words are the same. It gives me strength that ‘Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say “It is well, it is well, with my soul …”‘
I am sure that my Heavenly Father will catch me before I fall …