I wanted to play a CD to accompany me as I did my work on the laptop and I chose an old Celtic CD that I bought around fifteen years ago. At that time, I was deeply enamoured with Celtic music, which then allowed me to appreciate Nordic music – and the rest is history. Among the songs featured in the CD is Bill Douglas’ Irish Lullaby – a sweet, deeply peaceful choral song that is sung by the Ars Nova Singers. The song transported me back to the time when I was still a soft-natured guy. I think I’m still the same guy somehow, but I know that the years have burned the edges and roughened the surface. I am still a trusting man but I would ask more questions before I ease my barriers.
Some may say that it’s the wisdom that I have gained over the years, but somehow it makes me miss the softer side of me before I met betrayals and disappointments. I know it sounds quite melodramatic, but everybody experiences those episodes: when your trust is broken by your friends or loved ones. You allow yourself to have your down-time and collect the broken pieces and then try to move on. You think you’re the same person as before but actually you’ve slowly morphed into somebody different – tougher, more distrusting and sceptical, and more ‘streetwise’.
So tonight, I lament the loss of my softer nature while I try to guard the leftover. I know I am a wiser person – the years have taught me a lot but being older means that you have more to reminisce on. So maybe I am getting a bit melancholy tonight – perhaps it’s because of the spiced mocha that I drank earlier. Who knows. 🙂 Autumn makes me a bit nostalgic – it’s when the earth seems to take a long deep breath and sigh, before she falls into a restful sleep during winter. It’s a time to come alive with deep reflective thinking before the days grow longer again and you start looking forward to the future.
So tonight, have a listen to the softer side of me – these are the types of music that I listened to a lot around fifteen to ten years ago. I still listen to them, but such soulful music has now been outplayed by easily digestible chill out and pop songs. It’s time to rediscover my ‘soul’.