Autumn makes me stop and reminisce


I wanted to play a CD to accompany me as I did my work on the laptop and I chose an old Celtic CD that I bought around fifteen years ago. At that time, I was deeply enamoured with Celtic music, which then allowed me to appreciate Nordic music – and the rest is history. Among the songs featured in the CD is Bill Douglas’ Irish Lullaby – a sweet, deeply peaceful choral song that is sung by the Ars Nova Singers. The song transported me back to the time when I was still a soft-natured guy. I think I’m still the same guy somehow, but I know that the years have burned the edges and roughened the surface.  I am still a trusting man but I would ask more questions before I ease my barriers.

Some may say that it’s the wisdom that I have gained over the years, but somehow it makes me miss the softer side of me before I met betrayals and disappointments. I know it sounds quite melodramatic, but everybody experiences those episodes: when your trust is broken by your friends or loved ones. You allow yourself to have your down-time and collect the broken pieces and then try to move on. You think you’re the same person as before but actually you’ve slowly morphed into somebody different – tougher, more distrusting and sceptical, and more ‘streetwise’.

So tonight, I lament the loss of my softer nature while I try to guard the leftover. I know I am a wiser person – the years have taught me a lot but being older means that you have more to reminisce on. So maybe I am getting a bit melancholy tonight – perhaps it’s because of the spiced mocha that I drank earlier. Who knows. 🙂 Autumn makes me a bit nostalgic – it’s when the earth seems to take a long deep breath and sigh, before she falls into a restful sleep during winter. It’s a time to come alive with deep reflective thinking before the days grow longer again and you start looking forward to the future.

So tonight, have a listen to the softer side of me – these are the types of music that I listened to a lot around fifteen to ten years ago. I still listen to them, but such soulful music has now been outplayed by easily digestible chill out and pop songs. It’s time to rediscover my ‘soul’.


Published by fuzz

I've finally relented to the lures of blogging - and for those who care, well, I'm a self-confessed geek who's a wanderer at heart, who thinks and analyses too much, and who's trying hard to hold on to his 7-year old inner persona.

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